


First and Last (Regretful)

by slotumn



Series: Wherever the Wind May Take Us [7]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst and Porn, Emotional Porn, Emotional Sex, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, First Time, Hook-Up, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Porn with Feelings, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sort Of, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:28:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22669318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slotumn/pseuds/slotumn
Summary: After Shambhala and before Nemesis, Lysithea decides she has to do this in order to not have regrets.A.K.A. They have sex but the emotions are severely disjointed between the two sides.
Relationships: Lysithea von Ordelia/Claude von Riegan
Series: Wherever the Wind May Take Us [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593274
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20
Collections: Slotumn Portfolio





	First and Last (Regretful)

Shambhala was gone, and so were those bastards. The vile things who took her siblings, relatives, and lifespan away. She got her revenge.

And after this month, after the true final battle, dissolving her house to let her parents live in peace is all that was left--

\--then she would pass on with no regrets. 

...

No, that was a lie. 

There was just one more thing she had to do. 

\---

He was about to go to the library for their nightly meetings, but she showed up at his door instead. 

"Hi, Lysithea, I was just getting ready to--"

Without a word, she locked the door behind her and lightly shoved him toward the bed. When he didn't budge, she grabbed him by the collar and mashed their lips together, nearly giving him a heart attack.

And her intention was clear as day, but something felt...off.

"...Now, what's this about?"

"Don't ask questions, Claude. I mean it."

"Alright, alright, I won't."

\---

She always thought things like "not being able to hold back moans" was just an expression in those trashy romance novels (which she didn't read much of, not at all), but perhaps there was a bit of truth in the cliché. 

Biting into his shoulder was the only way she could keep all the noises muffled as he slid back and forth between her clenched thighs. 

He'd initially tried to go the whole mile with foreplay, kissing her jaw, neck, breasts, then trailing lower, when she grabbed the side of his head and stopped him. 

Not that it didn't feel good. It fact, she thought it could get outright addicting to melt and be at someone else's mercy like that-- but she was determined to be the one in control when this would be her first and last time. 

He still insisted that they "warm up" some more, so it wouldn't hurt; intercrural seemed like a good way to get into the rhythm and stimulate before penetration, and Goddesses, it was more intense than she expected, and not just because of the friction-- hearing the slick noises along with his groans was just as effective at fogging up her head.

"That's...enough."

"Lys..."

There was a half-desperate, half-frustrated look on his face when he stopped-- the kind of expression that comes from wanting to do more, enjoy more, but knowing you won't get to. 

"Let's get this over with."

\---

It didn't seem like it hurt, at least. 

She was a bit tense, but also wet enough for him to slide in smoothly-- a tight fit, but nothing tore, and when he asked if it felt alright, she simply commanded him to move with a breathy voice. He obliged.

Questionable emotional atmosphere aside, on a purely physical level, it did feel good. And he'd be lying if he said he hadn't fantasized about scenarios similar to this one-- hell, what kind of person would turn down the subject of their not-so-secret affections bursting into their room and asking to fuck? Not him. (But the Lysithea in those daydreams was vocal and passionate, instead of...strangely detached, despite being the one to initiate the whole thing.)

And he did have a feeling that this was her first time, but she didn't give him a chance to ask about that, much less what she liked or wanted to try. The best he could do was guess, from the way she squirmed and clung to him according to different angles and strokes.

"Faster," came a whisper, from the crook of his neck. 

He felt a strange mix of emotions surge at the realization that they've barely looked at each other's face the whole time.

Thrusting quickly, just like she asked, he held her shoulders and separated their upper torsos a little bit, so she wouldn't be buried in his neck anymore, and cupped her face. 

"Claude, what--"

He cut her off with a kiss, trying to make it better, deeper, more tender than the sloppy clash from earlier.

Perhaps it worked, because she started convulsing around him, and dear Goddess, feeling her body try to squeeze every last drop out of him was--

Right as the risk of pregnancy and everything that would entail flashed by, she locked her legs around his waist, refusing to let go as he grunted and released inside. 

"..."

Neither of them spoke for a while. 

When his sanity came back, he managed to point at the white liquid running down her thighs and sputter out, "We need to do something about-- that."

"I can take care of myself, Claude," was her reply. 

\---

She began gathering her clothes, and drew a mental map to the infirmary that would involve running into the least amount of people possible. Manuela had pregnancy-stopping herbs in her cabinet, and she did keep complete confidency when it came to these things, as promised, so that was a relief.

(And there was no reason to feel guilty or anything, but if she really didn't want to admit it, she could simply pretend that the herbs were for some of the mages in her battalion.)

Right as she was about to get off the bed, he grabbed her wrist--

"Wait, Lys, you must be tired."

"Yes, that's why I'm going back to my room."

\--and pulled her back in, hugging her close. 

"You can go in the morning..."

"..."

Like he said, she was tired, and didn't have the strength to break out of his warm embrace. 

\---

She wasn't there when he woke up, but what must have been teardrops marked where her face was on the sheets. 

The fear that was always in the back of his mind-- that she was going to slip away if things kept going like this, without a clear definition of what their relationship exactly was-- threatened to overflow, but he forced it down and got up. 

The future. A better, brighter future. He was working to solidify that future-- for everyone, including himself, and her. That had to come first. 

And after this month, after the true final battle, getting things organized in his homeland so he could propose to her was all that was left--

\--then the worries and regrets about their relationship would be a thing of the past.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally wanted to make this M-rated but the sex scene ended up being the main thing, even though the focus is (supposed to be) more on the emotions behind it than the act itself. 
> 
> Aside from "I love my tiny magic nuke gf" Claude, I also like writing "planning for their future together without knowing his gf is expected to die in 5 years" Claude. These two's angst and tears are delicious.


End file.
